Many years ago, when I was shopping at Bergdorf Goodman’s department store in Manhattan, I noticed feeling utterly uncomfortable. Although I was young, beautiful and in perfect shape, dressed in a designer outfit with matching shoes and handbag, I felt like I didn’t belong. I didn’t think I was good enough to be shopping at such a luxury store. I imagined the other women figuring out that I was an imposter—their glances said it all.

When looking at this through a different lens, it’s obvious that is utter nonsense. People have their own problems they’re thinking of. It was all about not being confident and lacking self-esteem. Being worried what other people may be thinking about us is a reflection of what we’re thinking of ourselves. Often, we choose the cloak of perfection as our security blanket, hiding our internal struggles, self-judgment and merciless condemnation.

Most people lack self-confidence. It usually starts in early childhood when they can’t get something—be that love, attention or an object they desire. They feel unwanted and unloved. They turn their rejections into believing that they’re not good enough. However, when they do achieve something noteworthy, they are told not to brag and to be humble. We are to blend in, be invisible—be a chameleon!

This lays the foundation for a mindset based on lack, scarcity and false modesty. The seeds for the belief of ‘not enough’, which is the root of all evil, are sown. Thus, we harvest unhappiness, poverty of mind, lack of abundance and destroy our highest good—our limitless potential. Consequently, we live in fear, worry and discontent.

That never serves our highest interest. We cannot achieve greatness or serve anyone by blending in and hiding our light. We cannot dwarf who we are for fear of being judged. We are judged anyway, so let it be on our terms and on the things we choose consciously.

We have the power to change our beliefs now. Here are three tips to become naturally confident:

1. Let us start the day with gratitude! Being grateful for what we have changes the way we see and feel about ourselves. It changes lives—not only ours but also others. When we choose to see our good and our abundance, we cannot focus on what’s missing. It lifts our hearts and fills us with joy.

2. The next step is to go to a mirror and say, while gazing into our eyes, “I am enough,” and mean it. Feeling it from the heart and believing it start the change in our mindset. We need to do this multiple times per day to change our subconscious mind slowly but steadily. Small incremental changes have a huge impact over time.

3. Last is to connect with our inner child and let it know that it is loved. We are lovable, safe and enough. We have to tell ourselves that we matter—now and then. No more hiding, playing small or staying safe. Our lives and our voices matter and we make a difference.

It is important to become aware of who we are and of our successes and be proud of them. Confidence must be rooted and grown from within. By focusing on our accomplishments, our wins and most importantly our true authentic self, we reinforce what is ours inherently. Let us not rob the world of our light by telling ourselves that we are not enough. Instead, let’s fall in love with who we are—all of it and every bit of it! That’s how we become unstoppable—by loving ourselves unconditionally. When we feel good about ourselves, we unleash our natural confidence, empowering ourselves and others alike.

Marina Shakour Haber is a life coach, speaker and author. She is the co-host of the Spiritual Activism Group whose mission is to help people transform confusion into strength, power and perfect peace. Their weekly free Sunday Zoom events feature teachers, healers, psychics and mediums. For more, visit SpiritualActivismGroup.com and/or DreamABetterDreamNow.com.